Wednesday, November 24, 2010

'cause when you are 23,,,you're gonna freak out...!!!!

‘Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them…….

One of my favorite song.

But I guess it’s not that you are fifteen, it’s because you are told that you are being loved, doesn’t matter at what age,,,you will definitely believe that.

Tomorrow I’ll turn twenty three,,,hey,,,hang on for a minute,,,I’m not here to tell you that during these twenty three years how many times I’ve been told this or how many times I’ve told this to others, though there isn’t any doubt about the fact how amazing it is to be loved by someone. It’s just that I felt like starting my post with these lines.

So finally I’ll be twenty-three,,,oh my god,,,TWENTY-THREE,,,something to freak about. Time really flies away. I didn’t realize where these years went & when I look back,,,,,,wait,,,when I look back,,,,,,I don’t find any similarity between what I’m today and what I used to be.

(when i was some two years old)

First birthday, second birthday, third birthday, fourth birthday,,,,,,honestly I don’t remember anything. The only thing I remember is that till my 10th or 11th birthday I used to be really dumb & too shy,,well shyness continued till 17th or 18th birthday but thank God dumbness vanished soon. (I honestly have no idea if I’m talking sense,,,well I hope you understand that tomorrow I’ll turn TWENTY-THREE,,,and it’s really something to freak about).

Well I wasn’t someone whom you can describe as a naughty,,I was lot more closer to what you call innocent. I think I was always lot more sensible than other people of my age group,,,,oh please,,,don’t raise your brow like that,,,I was,,okay

But there was a part of me that was too weird and that I kept to myself only and the part that gave me much trouble later in my life,,,weird and too sensitive part (again I have no idea if it is making any sense,,,and again I hope you understand that tomorrow I’ll turn TWENTY-THREE,,,something to freak about).

(when i was some six years old)

Anyways now talking about birthdays,,,well honestly birthdays don’t excite me as much as they used to earlier,,,but yes I love receiving wishes,,especially through calls :P

I remember on my twenty first birthday,,,I was too upset and I didn’t receive any calls and when I woke up I saw 21 missed calls,,,was really happy about this :P. At that time SMS service was banned in J&K (which is still banned) so almost everyone had called or was still calling. Later on when my mood was okay,, I was telling a friend of mine(who is not a friend now :P) that he didn’t called to wish me, to which he replied, “but I wished you in person” and my reply was “that doesn’t matter, I want everyone to call on my birthday :P”

Again this is non-sense but remember I’ll turn TWENTY-THREE tomorrow…!!!!

(when i was some fifteen years old)

Bad thing about birthdays is that they make realize that you are leaving so many sweet memories behind and won’t be able live them again and good thing is that it reminds you that you have been really strong all these years to face so many ups and downs which really makes you laugh now ,,,,,hmmmm,,,,,,time really flies away…!!!!!

(this is what i look like now,,i'm in center)

P.S. really I don’t know if this post makes any sense but I hope you understand that tomorrow I’ll turn TWENTY-THREE,,,and it’s really something to freak about……!!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I'm there for you always...!!!

“You know I missed you like hell when you were not talking to me”

It had been almost a week or so since we stopped talking. She just asked a simple question & maybe I never expected that she would ask, especially when I had already warned her not to ask me anything regarding that but she did. And not knowing how to react, I simply walked away telling her that she didn’t know anything so the answer won’t matter to her. I don’t know why it hurt me so much, it was just a question but I guess the answer was never simple for me. It hurt so much so that I almost wept. I have this problem with me, when I’m in deep pain I can’t be with the people whom I love the most, reason being I can’t see my sadness in their eyes & then I start acting weirdly, not talking to them & totally ignoring them and same happened in this case. I may pretend to be really strong but when reminded of certain things I again become a fragile being.

Things were getting tougher for me, firstly because I couldn’t control my emotions & secondly I couldn’t see her being so sad. I tried to break the ice, but I simply couldn’t & when she tried, I would simply walk away. Things were really gloomy for both of us. At home also, things were not so good and she being aware of what I was going through, was always at my side. And soon something happened in my family that changed everything. I literally decided to forget everything & started living my present. Gradually we started talking again. Though it was a short time but it changed everything. And then one day, when we were together she told me how much she missed me when we were not talking, I too missed her a lot, I almost choked while telling her so. We hugged each other & since then we never have faced anything like that.

P.S. I was just going through my diary & read about this incidence and couldn’t stop myself from putting this in my blog. I called the same friend, telling her the same thing & telling her how much I’m missing her. She is presently facing the same family problem that I’ve faced and I just want her to know that though I can’t do anything about her problem but I’m always with her. Luvya sweetheart


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