Thursday, July 29, 2010

That brand called love!!!

I was returning from my Java classes when I overhear a guy talking to someone on his mobile in a local bus. Well, I can’t say overhear because he was talking too loudly & I’m sure everyone around must have heard. From his words it was clear that the person on the other end was a girl & they were having an argument. The girl was angry with him because he had forwarded her number to someone & now that someone was troubling her. That someone was very close to that guy & I assumed that he couldn’t say no to him. Also it was clear that this guy & that girl were more than just friends though I can’t say if they were in a relationship. That guy was trying to cool her but she wasn’t ready to hear anything. He told under what circumstances he gave her number. It seemed that the girl had something for this guy & she trusted him a lot(just my assumption) but that guy ,,,hmmm,,,I can’t say if he was serious too and (again my assumption) he wanted her to be friends (actually more than that) with that someone. I felt so sick about the way he was treating that girl as a commodity,,he can’t keep it so he’s gifting it to someone else.

Though this whole episode had nothing to do with what I’m writing in this post(or maybe it has) but still I’ve included it.

Really “Love” has become a brand name; no wonder a million dollar industry is blooming on this name. It’s so funny how a beautiful feeling can be marketed to earn big bucks. Just walk into any gift store & you will find loads of love soaked things. It’s not that I’m against this. In fact it really feels got if someone demonstrates his/her feeling using these things but then,,,,do we actually know the real meaning of love????

These days, guys & girls just run into relationships just for the heck of being into a relationship because being single is just so uncool. Ask these people what they mean by love or how they feel for their partner, I’m sure they’ll go blank. With present day lovers as Romeo & Juliet, the play will become a spoof. Juliet telling Romeo, very causally, that’s she’s so sorry for him because she found someone else & that’s why she’s dumping him.

Of course everyone is not like that & thank god, there are still many exceptions, but still we really need to think about this.

Few days back, I was at a friend’s place & we were having a discussion about how some morons go mad for what they think is love. I mean, it’s okay, if you like someone but you can’t force anyone to like you back. I can’t use “Like” because even these people are not sure if its liking or infatuation. How can you say that you can’t live without him/her, when you never had him/her in the first place?

So don’t just jump to conclusions, there’s difference between liking & infatuation, between crush & love. For liking or loving someone you need to know that person. Just wait to have that much maturity in you where you can differentiate between things.

Guys, it’s not like others have a branded thing called love & you are still out of the league. Love isn’t a thing to show off or flaunt, love is an intangible feeling that you have in your heart.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Stay positive!!!

“Did she tell you what’s wrong with her?”

These were the words of a really caring & loving friend of mine, spoken at the time when I was facing a sort of problem about which I preferred to remain quite, the time when I behaved strangely, too strangely, a phase when I, myself, didn’t know what I was going through, so there wasn’t a question of sharing it with anyone else. But it is over now.

Now when I think about that phase or someone else reminds me of that,,all I feel about is EMBARRASSMENT . I can’t believe that I turned out to be such a moron at that time. I could have handled that very well but now all I can do is to laugh at that. Really it was so stupid of me to act like that.

Not only this,,there have been hundreds of such moments in my life which either makes me to laugh or feel embarrassed. Situations where I could have shown my maturity, patience & handled them well rather than to face them like morons. Anyways , I can’t do anything about them since it’s all past but I can just promise myself that I won’t act like that again. After all facing a problem is better option than running away from it.

It’s not just about me,,it must have happened with you also at any moment of life. I can’t help wondering, how feeble we turn out when we are facing some problem & how easily we can give lectures to others about staying positive & handling difficult times with patience. How easily we forget that no matter what sort of hardships we are facing,,that will pass soon,,all we need to do is,,,staying positive.

I hope from now onwards I’m always gonna remember this.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I've decided ;)

“Hazaron khwaaishein aisi ki har khwaaish pe dum nikle,
Bahut nikle mere armaan, lekin phir bhi kam nikle”


Lying on the roof & gazing the night sky,,,I always wondered how far these stars are,,,,how vast this universe is. It was after I read about universe,,,I remember I couldn’t believe myself that this universe is so vast. Milky way,,never ceased to amaze me let alone this universe. And I always asked my Bade papa numerous questions about stars,,planets,,,satellites,,,whole universe actuallyand I was told that man has stepped on moon only then I grew up & got to know about space scientists & astronauts and I was damn sure that was what I wanted to be,,,an astronaut. Then years later,,,Kalpana Chawla’s incident happened and I was yet more determined. Though frankly speaking I didn’t know what I had to do to become an astronaut & I didn’t even try to know it :D

But then gradually I forgot about this & became more involved in school activities. I remember during one summer vacations,,,I discovered a TV serial on Doordharshan (that time doordarshan was famous,,though we had that dish and few cable channels also but still we watched doordarshan). The serial “AAROHAN” was a story about three girls (if I remember correctly) who wanted to join defense. Out of those three,,,two were selected for navy & after many hardships,,they became officers. That was it,,,I made up my mind to join defense. After that whenever I watched any movie related to defence,,,I was more determined about my goal. After kargil war & then after watching L.O.C. kargil (the movie),,I was sure that was what I wanted to become. Though again I didn’t know what I had to become a defense personnel & neither I tried to know it :D

Again I got more involved in my course books & forgot about this. I became more interested in literature. Oh don’t think that I started reading novels & all. It’s was just that I really liked the poetry & prose of my Hindi text books. It was the time when I started taking part in essay competitions in school & I always stood first in them. My interest grew more & more and I started reading newspapers also. And that was it,,,I made up my mind to became a writer. And again I didn’t know what I had to become a writer & neither I tried to know it :D

It was the time when I was in 10th & everyone knew what they were going to do & yet again my mind was blank. My dad always wanted me to be a doctor,,well he also wanted me to be an KAS officer,,,a lawyer,,,but doctor was his first preference. So I made up my mind to make my dad’s dream come true. Now this time for a change I knew that I had to clear an entrance exam to become a doctor.
But since it wasn’t my heart’s calling so I wasn’t that determined, I studied but not exactly worked hard & as expected I wasn’t able to clear the entrance exam for medical though I cleared Engineering entrance,,,my parents encouraged me to take up that & I too wanted to do that,,,,so here am I an ENGINEER.

It was after joining engineer I realized that the writer within me hadn’t died yet,,,so I again started writing (this blog actually),,,& thanks to the months long agitation in Jammu,,,I cultivated reading habit also. Two years have passed & I have read more than 40 novels & written more than 100 posts. And now I know what I have to do to become a writer. But I just wanna write one or two novels so I’ll write that after I’ve earned much & learned much.
And again it was during engineering only I came to know that the dream of joining defense hadn’t died too. So I gave an army interview & luckily I was called for SSB interview. It was just two months back I went for the interview & it was damn clear to me that I wanna join army only. Though I wasn’t recommended but still the experience was awesome. After coming back from SSB I thought again if joining army is all I wanted to do but the answer wasn’t clear. So I focused on other plan,,,that was searching for job here in Jammu till result of 8th semester is out, i.e. till September & then going to Delhi for job search. But while concentrating towards this plan I realized that my heart wasn’t completely with me in this decision because whenever I saw that SSB group picture or other pictures in my cell or the experience I wrote in my diary or the book I followed for SSB,,,there was a kind of strange feeling,,a feeling as if I’m going away from something very dear to me,,,I know it’s very stupid to say that but that’s what I felt. Whenever I talked to my SSB friend’s this feeling emerged with a profound effect.

I thought again & now I have made up my mind to join army because I know I won’t be happy if I’ll do something else. I’ll submitted the form for technical entry & it’s gonna be a direct SSB this time also. No matter if I won’t get recommended this time too,,,I’ll try again,,,atleast I’ll be satisfied that I tried.

So here my future plan,,,staying in jammu & doing job here till I get call letter for SSB interview then after SSB shifting to Delhi for job search :)

P.S. anyone who has been through SSB can drop advices & tips for me here ;)


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