Finally I’m here,,,,,,,after loads of arguments with myself. Still I’m not sure if I should be here or not. I mean I’m still restless & I know scribbling anything here now would mean nothing. No one will understand. But then,,,,,,,,since when I started caring about what others think????
Anyways I’m here with my restless mind & its restless thoughts. It has been a month since I’m quite disturbed,,,,,,,,,,why,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I don’t know????
I haven’t shared this with anyone ,,,just because I know that my mind works on a different frequency & it has never been easy for me to explain things to others. Moreover, since I don’t know the exact reason so it’s better to keep this restless to me rather than to transfer it to others.
I tried hell lot of ways to get this out of me,,,,but nothing works.
I also deleted my accounts from all social networking sites.
I don’t even now find peace in novels. I try to read but I can’t.
I haven’t written a post for my blog for past two weeks.
No orkut,,no facebook,,,no novels,,,no blogging,,,,,these were like drugs to me but I’m living without them. Something is wrong I know but can’t figure it out.
Out of so many ways I’ve tried,,the only one that gives me peace is to be alone. I like remaining alone at home,,,answering calls & sending messages is ok but facing people is something I don’t like. Because somewhere my restlessness shows up then & since I don’t know the reason behind that so I prefer to be alone.
The reason can’t be college as I’m like this before the starting of college,,,,not friends actually,,,then what???? I don’t know. At times I feel like crying my heart out,,,,but it is stupid as I don’t have any reason. I see people around who have their sad love stories,,,bf/gf problem,,,friends problem,,,future problem,,,,,and I find them lucky,,,,they at least know what solution they are seeking & here am I,,,,without any definite problem & hence without any definite solution.