“So now you can go alone na??”
But she didn’t reply & stepped in bus.
I waited for her to look back,,but she didn't. Though she seemed to be confident & matured enough to go alone still I was worried. I felt like I should go with her but that would have irritated her & since it was her exam so I didn’t want her be in that mood & I let her go alone.
I think it was the first time I ever let her go alone anywhere since the time she was born.
It was the month of January,,,dark cold night & as usual mom put me to bed early,,,I was just 5 years old then. I remember that was the time when I only dreamed about fairylands,,,chocolate houses,,,ice cream rivers,,,I really had this weird imagination,,,sometimes I even saw dragons & all,,,actually I was a ALICE lost IN my WONDERLAND.
I was in deep slumber when a weird dream woke me up. My eyes were still closed,,I ran my hand across the bed to spot mom but I didn’t spot her,,,,I spotted something else,,,,soft,,,really soft,,,something smooth,,,smooth as silk & I became unsure as it was a dream or reality. I lift the quilt,,sat up & I realized everyone was awake. Someone switched on the light & I saw a little feeble & helpless creature lying on bed. My eyes widened in bewilderment ,,,I opened my mouth to ask something but I shut it again & I looked at that thing again. I traced her face with my fingers,,,so soft it felt. Her eyes were closed & she was so relaxed & so calm. Till then I hadn’t seen such a marvelous thing in my life,,,,and I started liking her then & there only. Her hands were clenched in tight fists,,,I tried to open it,,very carefully as she seemed to be so fragile,,,but then voice of my granny startled me “Be careful with her,,,,she’s your little sister”,,,,,,,,,,my little sister,,,,,,,,,these words were revolving in my mind,,,,there were thousands of questions I wanted to ask then but I was too busy with my little doll,,,a real doll. Marveling her softness,,,smoothness,,,calmness,,,,I felt asleep & I never asked any question as I was too happy,,,to glad to have a real doll.
Next day,,,I was telling everyone in school that “hey I’ve a little sister now”,,,I remember I told that to my teacher also & she replied sweetly “I know vandana” & I was like “how does she know?? Mom didn’t tell me,,,how could she tell my ma’m”. I told that to mom angrily & mom told that to my teacher. That teacher used to mock me over this thing till the time I left school,,,even now whenever she meets my mom,,,she cracks this joke,,,so embarrassing I tell you :(
My doll grew up before me. I remember the day she joined the school. My cousin, my di & I left her in the class & she was holding back her tears,,,even I was holding back mine,,,di was always the strongest. Just as we left,,,she started crying. I came to my class & I could see her with other children in the playground. She was still crying,,,,I wanted to go out of the class but I couldn’t. She started crying even louder,,,and it became harder to control myself,,,,but she wasn’t going to stop. And then her teacher scolded her & she stopped and I felt like a volcano just erupted in me,, “how dare that bitch,,scolded my doll like that” I wanted to run out of the class to wipe tears of my doll,,,to comfort her but I had to wait. I waited & when class was over I ran to her,,,she was back in her class,,,smiling & talking to children around her so I stepped back. And I remember I never ever talked to the teacher who scolded my doll.
And I don’t remember after that I ever saw tears in eyes of my doll except for the time when di taught her during initial years of her school,,,but that time I had to control myself as it was di :P
There is one more time when she was learning to drive scooty,,,she fell from it & injured herself. Dad scolded her & she started weeping,,,that was the first time dad ever scolded her,,,dad didn’t scold her even when she stole money from his pocket,,,,well she often does that,,,that’s no problem with dad but this time dad scolded her,,,she was injured still dad scolded her & she was weeping like anything. I couldn’t control myself & told dad, “How dare you say anything to her??” I literally shouted at my dad but he was quite,,mom,,granny no one scolded me back. Then mom came to me & said, “You know it hurts your dad to see her hurt. He just wanted her to be safe” and my reply was, “treat her like a princess,,she deserves that,,okay??” . I still say that,,whenever she steals money,,,buy extra clothes,,,junk jewelry or anything,,,my response is always the same “let her live like a princess” & mom says, “and she’ll turn us to beggars”;)
No doubt she has grown up but I’m still scared as if she can face this world alone,,,but when she left me without even looking back,,I thought maybe she is not my little doll anymore,,,she has really grown up,,,,grown up to be a princess…
P.S. she’s a rascal & freaks the hell out of me,,, imitating my voice when I’m on phone,,,paints my face when I’m sleeping,,,calls me stupid names,,,,and other thousand things that irritate me like anything but I can never forget that she was my favorite doll & I don’t remember I ever played with any doll after I got her. Wanna say “Muniya,,,,you are my doll,,,,my princess & I wish you get all the happiness of this world”
P.S. 2 I’m not ever gonna tell her that I wrote this for her because then she’ll be dancing on my head always,,,already she never gets off my head
P.S. 3 I've got one more award from JAUNTY