Friday, May 29, 2009

The day we celebrated her b'day & i conquered my fear !!!!

Bhuj taan gaye ,,assi tere nayan dekh ke,,ki gal hai koi dil te lagoyi hove gi,,,,,,,,,,,Mere agge chutha jeya hass chanderi,,,,,,main jaan da ae tu vi kina roi hovegi”
(it means, "I can make it out from your eyes that something has hurt you,,,,,,,this is a fake smile,,,,,,,,,I know how much you have wept")

(I don’t know exact lyrics)

Okay okay,,,,,,,,I’m not gonna sing any more,,,,,,,,so stop throwing your shoes,,,chappals,,,,,,,,,eggs,,,,tomatoes & other stuff on me,,,,,,,,,,but then is this song so bad,,,,,,,,,just c’mon guys,,,,,,Punjabi songs rock ,,,,,,,,,,& Punjabi sad songs,,,,,,,,,,,,I just love them

Stop making your assumptions,,,,,this post isn’t about music. It’s about me,,,,,my friend & my fear,,,,,,, and this song fit like glove for her.

(blurred pic,,,,,,still her favorite & that's why mine )
Exactly one week has passed since her birthday but since we people were hell busy in college & stuff so didn’t celebrate her birthday,,,but today we were in party mood so we went to party together. Well,,,,its always fun to party with friends & this was no exception. We had great fun. Five gals,,,,,,so much nonsense but even more fun. During all the fun going around,,,,,,,,,I observed the communication gap or whatever you may call it,,,that was developing between me & my friend from the past one month. Though few weeks back I called her,,,,,,,everything else is in the post “I’ll be there for you!!!!!!!!!”,,,,,,,,,,,,and I thought now everything would be fine but still the story was same. Fault was mine,,,,,,as I thought everything would get fine by itself but it didn’t. One of our common friends who’s close to her also told me that how much she was longing for me & how much she wept after reading that post. I felt bad. I hadn’t discussed this problem with anyone except one friend,,,,,,but since he talked about this so I opened the flood gates,,,and ,,,discussed everything. I told him about a letter that I had written for her ages ago but couldn’t bring myself to give that to her just because of the fear that I would spoil everything. Then came her birthday,,,,I was trying to call her but her number was busy ,,,,,just then I got a message from my friend that she was weeping,,,,,,goddamn,,,,,,again I felt so bad,,,I should had given that letter to her.
12:25 am,,,,,,,,,, finally the bell rang,,,,,,,,she picked the phone,,,,,,,,,,,I wished her,,,,,,,,thought that I should talk to her about that,,,,,,,,,,,,but again that fear,,,,,,,,,less than one minute & the call ended.

The same morning,,,,,,,again a busy day,,,,,,,saw her,,,,,,,,,didn’t go to her,,,,,,because of the guilt that she was weeping for me when everyone else was wishing her,,,,,,,,I crossed her many times that day but,,,,that guilt stopped me to talk to her.
I went to class,,,,,,,,,she wasn’t there,,,,,,,,,,,,,,as she was really upset,,,,,,,, reason being me again. My other friend was standing outside the class,,,,,,,,,,asking me to come outside,,,,,,,,,,,so that he could help us to talk,,,,,,,but ma’m entered the class,, plan flopped ,,,,,,I couldn’t do anything that day,,,,,,,,,,,,,,goddamn,,,,,,,,,,,,,I spoiled her birthday

From then till now,,,,,my other friend asked me a thousand times to give that letter to her but I always found that fear standing in my way.

So today after,,,,,three of my friends left,,,,,,,,,,we two were alone,,,,,,,coming back to home,,,,,,,,,I asked her to get a drink for me (just a juice,,,,,,,,no vodka,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,though I would love to have it,,,,,,,,just kidding ),,,,,,,,,,,she was in front of me,,,,,,,,I struggled a lot ,,,,,,finally,,,,,,,took that letter that I had written about a month ago,,,,,,,,,,handled it to her,,,,,,,,,asked her to read that in front of me. After she finished it,,,,,,,,,,,I took it back,,,asked her to say something ,,,,,just to break that ice. She said that she had nothing to say,,,,,,then she told me that she wept after reading that post in my blog. During this whole conversation,,,,,,,,,I was pretending that I’m transferring something from her cell to mine,,,,,,,,,just because I couldn’t make eye contact with her,,,,,,,that guilt stopped me from doing that. It was getting late,,,,,,we had to leave for home,,,,,,,before leaving I hugged her then kissed her( stop doubting,,,,,she’s straight,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,& of course me too,,,,,,LOL)
Then I said, “Sorry, I hurt you a lot but from now onwards,,,,I’ll try my level best to be with you”.
Then I watched her leaving,,,,,,it was such a pleasing scene ,,,,I was in seventh heaven,,,,,,,,,,,I conquered my fear,,,,,,,,,I took from cell from my bag,,,,,gave a missed call to my friend,,,,,,,,,,he called back,,,,,,,,,,,told him about all this,,,,,,,he was happy for both of us but not more than me.

I just hope now I won’t ever hurt her & everything will be fine

12 comments:

vivek said...

haule haule dard sehen di aadat pai gai ai...hayee!!

*sob sob*

tenu vi punjabi aandi haan? daseya nai kudiye...uh..my punjabi is not that rocking...though m a hardcore punjabi!! so forgive the typos!!

hmm...friendships are for ever!!
good u saved it!! I could never...pretty bad at that!!

before u say thank you for commenting...."Jee aaya nu!!"

:)

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

ohhhh yeah
i'm crazy abt punjab
punjabi culture
n punjabi everything

nw i wont say thank u

vivek said...

see...u ought to say thank you...otherwise u never know another similar story which you rote in ur post might frighten you in ur dreams...hideous dreams![though m sure...it will sound like a spoof...with me crying...]

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

n abt that frndship stuff
just moments ago
i spoiled everything,,,,,,,,,another frnd this time

fingers crossed,,,,,,hope everything gets fine

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

LOL

ok then thank u

wen u r facing real horrible situations ,,,,,,,nothing else matters

vivek said...

lol...

G said...

babe... weekend ! make up a plan !!! nai te meri vi dosti revive karn di naubat aa jaavegi :P :P
and the post...good good.. jus a sense of deja vu 8-)

sneha said...

heya...i lovd ur post ..rili gud..emotional nd senti..
bt b happy don fret over dem..m sure u guys hv gr8 undrstndn b/w ya..

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@ G
ok sweety
nxt saturday or sunday
till then i'm busy with my minors

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@sepo
thanx yaar
problem is past also
u'll get to know that in my next post

unplaned plan said...

oh nice selection for the blog.r u writer by profession?if not then u should be.excellent writing spirit..carry on.

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@unplanned plan
no i'm not a professional but i wanna be one
thanx for commenting

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