Saturday, May 30, 2009

Conversation with GOD

Vandana,,,,now you have found new friends na???? So you don’t need me anymore”,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and then I was drowned in the flood of her tears. After listening this & watching her weeping,,,,,I couldn’t utter a single word. I had no right to say anything then. But that really took me back to the times that we had spent together,,,,,,,right from the mid-session of 4th standard to the moment she said those words,,,that was,,,,,mid session of 10th standard,,,,,, 6 years,,,,,,,,,,,,goddamn,,,,,,its not a small time,,,,,,then how come I forgot her. I asked everyone else to come to my home except her,,,,,,,,,how could I do that?????? Not only this I had been ignoring her from the past two years,,,,from the moment I got I got a sort of friend I had always dreamt of. Why the hell I didn’t ever think of her?????? Why I didn’t see that pain in her eyes?????? Why I left her like this when I knew what I meant to her?????


Time passed,,,,,,,she learnt to live without me,,,,,got new friends. There was something in her eyes that always prevented me to make an eye contact with her,,,,,because of what I did to her,,,,still we were like good friends,,,,,,if not best. Now I get to see her very rarely,,,,,though she doesn’t live too far from here but I don’t have the courage to face her,,,,,,,,,I admit that. I can forget everything that happened between us but I can’t forget her,,,,,,one reason being that we have common name,,,,,, “Vandana”


Now when I’m facing an exact situation,,,,I don’t want the history to repeat,,,,,,,,,,but still I’m doing nothing,,,,,,,I just think that I’ll do this but then I don’t.

Oh God,can you help me?


God : yes, my dear child.


Me : I’m struck in this hell. When I look myself in mirror my refection seems to ask, “who the hell you think you are?????? Just because you think you really don’t need anyone,,,,,,,,,,you’ll keep hurting others,,,,,,,,it’s not about these two girls,,,,it’s about many others,,,,,when you are gonna realize that even they also don’t need you,,,you keep on telling others ,,,,,you’ll live alone,,,,it’s not your choice ,,,,,,,it’s your compulsion ,,,,,,,you got no other option left,,,,stop doing what are you doing ,,,,,,,and start thinking the other way around” what I’m supposed to do now?

God : oh child,,,,, See,,,,,,as you keep on saying whatever happens, happens for the good,,,,,,,so there must be something good in it,,,,there’s certainly something good in it.

Me : what’s good in it? I mean I’m messed up with relations,,,,,,,,,I can’t fulfill expectations of others but I’m trying my level best. And everyone is just walking out of my life,,,,,,the few who are left will walk out soon,,,even you think so.

God : just zip it up & listen to me

Me : why you are talking like me?

God : silly,,it’s beause I’m a part of you.

Me : oh yeah!!

God : okay listen now,,,,,,no one will walk out,,,,see whatever is happening around,,,,is a sort of examination that life is imposing on you. You have faced similar situations ,,,,,,,,so you know how to get out of these,,,,,,,,,I just want to check if you still remember what you have learnt

Me : But why this is happening again & again,,,,,,,,I mean like,,,,,,,isn’t one examination enough?

God : Sweety,,,it’s just that I really love you,,,in fact I love all my children,,,,,,,and I want you to learn all these lessons by heart,,,,,,,because then,,,,,,,,,,the life will be a smooth journey for you,,,,,,just few bumps & pits now,,,and its gonna be a smooth road ahead

Me : But this tough road seems to be endless.

God : you are saying this??? You remember you were like so happy few days back,,what now??

Me : well,,you planned it for me,,,,,,so you know better.

God : oh child, I don’t plan anything. It’s you who plan your life. I have given you power to think & implement your thoughts,,,,,,so do that & remember I’m always there with you.

Me : hmmmmmmm,,,,,,that means I have to solve it myself but I don’t see any way.

God: Remember ,,,sepo was telling you that you always have n number of ways,,,,,,,,,that was my voice actually.

Me : yeah,,,I remember & I remember how I controlled my tears then,,,,,,,,,,but yeah now I'll surely search for the right way from those n ways.

God : anything else?

Me : yup,,,,,,,what about the people who are walking out of my life?

God : sweety,,,,,,,,,it’s not your fault,,,,,,I mean you made a mistake,,,,,,you realized that,,,,you felt guilty for it,,,,,you learnt a lesson,,,,,that’s it. And sweety,,,,,,,,you know it takes loads of courage to admit your mistake,,,,,,,I’m glad that you did that. Doesn’t matter if you have to face hardships now,,,,,,,,,and remember even this won’t last forever.

Me : so,,,,,,,,,,,they’ll come back?

God : (laughs) not necessarily

Me : but I desperately want them back.

God : that’s what you think now,,,,,,,,firstly think of the bigger picture,,,,,,,,and if you still want them back,,,,,,,I can easily get them for you,,,,,,,but trust me then either you’ll already have them with you or you would have learnt to live without them.

Me : I’m confused

God : (laughs) oh sweety,,,,,,,,,,,you need not to be. Just be patient.

Me : okay,,,,,,I’ll be

God : anything else?

Me : what about my present problem?

God: you have faced a similar situation so you know what to do

Me : you & your riddles

God : (laughs) you are so cute. Just have patience ,,,,,,,everything will be fine. It’s just that I want you to learn something otherwise I always want my children to be happy & free from problems

Me : hmmmm,,,,,,,I’m so tired,,,,,,,I don’t want to learn anything now.

God: I didn’t expected this kind of behavior from your side.

Me: LOL,,,,,,,,you are sounding like Tina ma’m

God : silly,,,,,,she sounds like me,,,,,anyways just keep smiling like this,,,,,,anything else?

Me : enough for now

God : okay then take care

34 comments:

sneha said...

CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD
i js dun kno wt so say..hnny m spellbound..i m confused ki kya yeh true hai ya u made it up..bt ne which way its fab....!!

love ya
m rili lucky to hv u as my frnd

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@sepo
sweety
i'm lucky to have you as my friend
nothing i made up
its was jus my inner self talking to me

sneha said...

wow...!!
i mean WOW...
U r smthng gurl
u rok
u u u ...( speechless)
mmuuuah
lve ya

sneha said...

btw.. assignmnt banaye..?

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@sepo
yup i'm something
& that's cuz i'm matter
n definition of matters says so

i hvnt yet made assignments bt i'll make them today hopefully

Anonymous said...

try and try again and u will ultimately succeed in whatever u want

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

i'm trying harder n harder bt even life is becoming tougher n tougher so my efforts seem to be meaningless,,,,,still i'll keep on trying

vivek said...

hey a very good conversation!

uh..that line, where GOD says, its u who plans and implements decisions...

uh..u don't believe in destiny do u?
i guess, you believe in "carving out your life" yourself!!

enlighten me please!

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@vivek
See God has given us power to think & implement our thoughts as I have mention in this post,,,,so whatever happens in our lives is an outcome of our deeds(things which we have done by implementing our thoughts). And as they say, “as you sow,,so shall you reap” so my advice is to do good & have good.
Now coming to destiny,,you must have heard people saying that their dream has come true or they are happy as they have got what they never expected,,,,,this is not luck or destiny,,,,,it’s the power of their thoughts. When you desperately want something,,,,your thoughts float in the entire universe & then the entire universe with all its strength helps you in achieving what you want (not from OSO,,,,,,but the essence of THE ALCHEMIST & even my personal experience)
So it’s all about your thoughts,,,,,,so think & implement your dreams,,,,,,the whole universe is with you
One thing more in life never ask God, “why me?” instead tell him, “Try me”,,,,,,,,hard to implement but if you’ll learn this,,,,,,life will be a blessing,,,,,, I’m still learning this thing

and hey I don't have that tiny bit of knowledge to enlighten anyone

Anonymous said...

read "the secret" by rhonda bryne

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@ anonymous
i was planning to read that,,,,,i'll read in after my examz r over ,,,or maybe as soon as i get it's ebook,,,,well may i know ur good name plz?

Inderjeet said...

give some tips to us, so that we can also chat with god.
just joking.........
it was fab..........
Great conversation btween god and vandana, hw gone u do this.hw u write so well.
u have great calliber for writing. keep it always up.
always wish for u best.

byeee........
take care.

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@Inderjeet
sometimes conditions r such that God starts talking to u,,,,,in form of ur inner self,,,,,,,thanx fr always encouraging me

vivek said...

"this is not luck or destiny"

I would say its not luck but it is destiny! Yes power of thoughts are powerful but getting them in your mind too is a part of destiny! Not everybody can have such pwerhouses!

Had it not been about destiny, all those who had powerful thoughts in their minds would have had succeeded! If sometimes, they still fail, it is destiny!

What say?

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

Hey vivek
I’m not an atheist & I strongly believe in existence of God but not in destiny. God has given us power to think & implement our thoughts,,,,,,,and it depends on you that how much you make use of that power. Everyone has his or her powerhouse but efficiency differs. If there is that power in your thoughts then u’ll surely get want you desire

vivek said...

efficiency of thoughts?

Tell you what, I slogged my ass for IIT 24*7! and i mean 24*7! K..lets not go into the intricacies of my life...

Have you ever observed sometimes even people with lame efforts succeed and those who think about it every time, fail in their attempt? Ever pondered why it happens even though one had the most powerful of thoughts..?

Nivedita said...

Interesting post you have here...did you try posting it on Neale Donald's website blog...I'd done that 6-7 yrs ago, can't remember the exact year...he responded with a very interesting poem he wrote :)) Will try and pull it out for you :))

Have you read all the books from the Conversations series? They are amazingly inspiring, aren't they?

Thanx a bunch for stopping by my blog and leaving your lovely comments :)) I cannot teach you intaglio etching online, involves toxic acids and fairly difficult-detailed process...but mono-printing might be possible...let me know if you wanna know more :))

Like Neale quotes " Wish you best always, all-ways!"

-nivi

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@vivek
i don't mean to offend u
but just tell me was getting into IIT's ur sole aim. I bet it wasn't. U must be aiming something big after ur engineering studies n the way of achieving that big objective was through IIT's. still ur thoughts r revolving in this universe n who knows u'll get what you want.
Now coming to the people with lame efforts achieving big things, no one can make estimate of their thinking power. No doubt their efforts r lame but may be their desperation to get that thing is big. And sometimes even they don't realize this thing. It's not about hard work its about power of thinking, though working hard also matters as they say "GOD helps those who help themselves"

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@nivi
no I haven’t posted it on Neale Donald’s blog,,,,,,,,,,but I’ll search for that blog & post it soon,,
yup,I had started “Conversations with God book 1” but then I was busy in college events,,,,,,,,,,,,I’ll complete the series after my exams,,,,,,,,,yeah,,,these books are real mind opener
so can’t teach me,,,,,,,,anyways I’ll try to learn it by myself but I’ll surely contact you when I’ll need ur help,,,,,,,,,till then let me try myself

vivek said...

First of all, please don't apologise again and again...I never feel offended when its about talking on some substantial matter!

Why do students wish to crack iit? They have a fondness for greener pastures, a plump job! The syllabus, the faculty is the same everywhere! Infact private colleges have a better and more sincere faculty! yes my aim was money via iit but that was the aim of many who cracked it!

to your second part of comment, ha! you know how important hard work is i am sure! OK..You learnt tattooing right? Must have slogged for that? Can only your power of thoughts and desperation fetch you results? I am afraid, to be practical, no! For competitive exams, is it your hard work or your desparation and power of thoughts, that clicks? If powerhouses were enough, burning the midnight oil would not have been a necessity! If still lame thoughts sometimes work, it is what? D-E-S-T-I-N-Y!

Well...It's everybody's viewpoint..I respect yours but i accept mine! Maybe someday, a transitions might occur in either of us as far as destiny is related!

:)

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@vivek
i agree that power of thinking alone can't do it & you need to work for it also
but wait
where the hell is destiny???????

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

hey vivek
i'm too stubborn
so even i'm gonna stick to my views
bt its not only abt being stubborn
its my personal experience

lemme gv u an example
i hd a classmate in kinder garten
i used to see her & think if ever she'll be my friend
many times i saw in dreams that i had been to her home

then she changed her school
but wen i got admission in this engineering college i saw her again
after ages
she didnt remember me

but now we r like very good friends

its
THE POWER OF THOUGHTS

not only this i have many such experiences to share

vivek said...

ha...did you see the flip side which proves your statement wrong?
lemme tell you!

Your power of thoughts made you meet her! Fine!
But you yourself mentioned that for her, you were anonymous even in the kindergarten and all through her school life till she reached the engineering college and met you and became friends with you!
This implies, that she had no power of thoughts, infact no thoughts at all of meeting you! Yet coincidently, you guys met!
For you in this case, it is power of thoughts, try seeing the situation from her viewpoint! Why did vandana still meet her sans powerhouses? D-E-S-T-I-N-Y!!

:)

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

Vivek dear , i'm afraid that this doesn't prove my statement wrong. See i wanted her to be my friend n i was too desperate for this. I don't think she ever thought that way for me. So i got what i had desired. And for as my friend is concerned , she has nothing to do with my desire. So tell me where i'm wrong?

vivek said...

uh...I said u were wrong because she had no desparation to meet you and had no thoughts to meet you as you have said. Yet she met you! Why?

Ok..I rephrase it! You met her because you had powerful thoughts of meeting her. Why did she meet you though she did not have any?

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

Just because my powerhouse was efficient enough to get her back in my life. Her destiny got nothing to do with it because till now she doesn't know how desperate i was to get her back as i never told her this

vivek u know what i always thought i'm the greatest stubborn but i guess i've a competition

vivek said...

No! No! Please do not mix the two statements! They are poles apart!

See...I hope you agree destiny(if it really exists) and powerhouses(they too) are particular to a person. When i say that, i mean that it is either YOUR powerhouse or YOUR destiny! Fine?

Now your powerhouse made you meet that gal, XYZ! If you now twist this statement and say, your powerhouse made XYZ meet you, it is completely different! You are then going against the basic laws of humanity? You know how? Because, your powerhouses or destiny, is for you, and just you! It would be immoral to say, that they can change another person's course of life!

"vivek u know what i always thought i'm the greatest stubborn but i guess i've a competition
I hope its a compliment! But to be honest i am not being stubborn. I am just making an attempt to persuade you. Though it is a well known fact, that such persuasions can develop within only and not by any external source!

:)

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

Well said persuasions can develop within only n not by any external source. I believe in all this cuz i've always experienced these things in life, u believe in that cuz u've experienced that. So only if i'll experience what u've experienced then only i'll change my thinking or who knows may be u'll experience what i've experienced n that'll surely change ur thinking
but still i believe if u have that power of thoughts, u can even change other's course of life

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

its nt like that i read it in "THE ALCHEMIST" & started believing this
i started believing cuz i alwayz get wat i desire
well it was really a very nice discussion. Now i'm gonna read "THE SECRET" also n complete that "CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD" series n who knows may be i'll read "GITA" also. Maybe i'll get most of the answers of my questions :)

vivek said...

:)

sneha said...

so many intellectuals all under vandy's blog...dese r da thngs dat inspire u to do well dat inspire u to luk ahead nd beyond da stupid intricates v r alwayz hung up on..
believe in wt u strongly believe nd u ll hv it no mattter wt or who cumez in ur way...

Anand said...

Take up a job as a content or a dialog writer. U wud do well.

It takes patience and imagination mixed with emotions t write such conversations. :-)

Neat..as usual ya.

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@sepo
well said
i'm impressed

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

@Anand
i'll think about it
but i wanna be a writer
thanx for commenting

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