Thursday, April 9, 2009

............because I trust you !!!!!!!!!

Thousands of big big emotional and sentimental lines filled with so many touching words & feelings, but all ending with .........because I trust you!!

Oh my God!!!
Sometimes even I'm astonished with my digesting capacity & listening too (though my hearing capability isn't so good....hmmmm as I'm a slight hard of hearing na :( poor me)

Being in college for about two and a half years now, I have made so many friends, touch wood to that. Leaving few people aside, everyone talks to me freely. I really don't know why? Many people come to me & share their problems, thoughts, secrets & whatever they want to. And after conversation with them is over, I get to hear "don't tell others" & then "....because I trust you". Only in one case, one of my friend said, "I don't need to say don't tell others as I know you won't do that" & why the hell he thinks so? I don't know, haven't asked actually, but yeah he's right, I won't ever tell others.
I don’t know why people find me so trustworthy??(Of course they are 100% correct) .They like sharing their secrets with me, though I never ask anything & I really don’t like interfering in other’s life. Unlike other gals I strictly hate that gossiping & bitching stuff, though I admit I do that sometimes (very rarely, may be because at that time I’m off my head). It was known to me that my friends find me quite understanding & I thought maybe every understanding person has a typical “understanding look” & I have same or may be its written on my face which only they can see, but it was shocking when the mother of a friend told me the same. I mean I haven’t met her; we have just talked a few times on phone regarding some problems that my friend was facing, I assured her that I’ll sort them out & I did. She had talked to my other friends also then why the hell she thought that I’m capable of doing that. That means, it’s not written on my face. (pulling my hair) I wanna get the answer??????????????

It’s okay when you get to know few secrets after a span of time but when everyone starts telling you their secrets at the same time (though the one who is telling doesn’t know that you are getting such a dose from others also), it’s like tha tha tha tha tha & then gadham (in my desi style). So many fatal doses at a same time & you are like totally numb. At that time, it becomes so difficult to handle all this, but you have to.

And then there are others who are feeling so dejected & you have to cheer them as you are the only one with whom that person likes sharing her problems &……………now it really hurts to say that........may be you are the only one who is willing to listen her . While doing so, maybe you’ll forget to give time to some (or maybe you are really out of time), who always expect some time from you, & then that misunderstanding & annoyance chapter beings, followed by explanations & apologies chapter.

Here I really wanna laugh aloud at myself. So let me HA HA HA !!!!!

Yaar, what big bombastic dialogues I was using, “I had given up expecting things from others & I don’t want others to expect anything from me”. Then, why the hell I give a damn when others tell me, I have changed & I’m ignoring them. Easy to say, as it’s a common saying among my friends, “Every roadie is alone”. I know I’m not a roadie, but still as they say, “everyone comes alone & will leave alone”, then why the hell these expectations matter. But then, as my school teacher used to say, “Nature of a person, never changes”, so even if I’ll try to be alone, others won’t let me to be alone. Now it’s not my weakness that I can’t stay alone, of course I can, but they want me to be there for them always & this is my weakness. I can’t say no when they demand time from me but it hurts when unknowingly & unwillingly I fail to do so.

Oh God!! Can I have a Xerox of me, without my friends’ knowledge, so that I can give enough time to everyone?

4 comments:

Inderjeet said...

hi,vandana.
again iam the first to read this post.
i read this and like it and I want to comment out something about this.

Every person share their secrets with u because they trusts u and knows u r different from others, they thinks that u did't share it with others. some people believes that differnet persons have different understandings, they won't thinks like others. Ur behavior ur nature is different. as u told u want to stay alone but people did't stay u alone, this happens because people always needs u and ur advice and always wanted u to give some advice from ur side. they always forces u to sort out their problems .And more thing,

Understanding people's voice says that they r the one whom u can trust.

Since, from the past. iam reading ur blogs i get know really ur one whom everyone can trust.
but don't worry about this. These are the qualities which u can't refuse.
I wish u can get ur answer.
Anyway keep wtiting. Iam always here to read ur thoughts.

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

Uuhhh...
What a comment man!!
Thanks a lot for commenting.
Okay i understand that people around me will definitely notice me & yeah they'll get to know i'm quite understanding & trustworthy, but how the people who haven't ever met me can conclude this? This is the question.

shona..... said...

whosoever is reading dis...let me tel u frnds..she is an angel for us.(don't know bout others..but for me yeah u r....sugar..)
she is alwayz there for us...4 sharing r problems...n ofcourse tryin to solve them as well...

here..i wanna confess dis sugar..
i really trust u yaar...i guess i dont need to say dis but still....

luv u...
cheers!!!

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

hey shona
thanx
i just hope i maintain the same

& yo cheers!!!

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